Here's the thing about oatmeal: You're doing it wrong. I was doing it wrong too for a while, just merrily following the instructions on the package (after all, they make it, they must know what they're talking about). The finished result of my oatmeal was pretty much one large ball of snot, which isn't a very appetizing breakfast. My Dad taught me how to make good old-fashioned oatmeal the right way. It's supposed to be pretty dry, not at all snotty. A perfect oatmeal flakes apart ...