Three Lemon Bars
Want to know something? Don’t we all want to know something?
Well, we only want to know something if we think we want to know something. Some things are best left unknown. And in other cases we believe we know everything and don’t want to hear anything else.
But this is getting too deep for me. Do you want to know something?
Here it is.
Baking is a spectator sport.
Why?
Layer 1: The Crust
Usually I have at least one sister breathing down my neck, watching ever move.
Why do they watch?
I’m interesting.
No, that probably isn’t the reason.
They want to learn from me?
Nope. They don’t respect me enough for that.
They watch…Because they are hungry. Because they are hoping for some food. Because they are hoping for mercy. A tiny chocolate chip would be enough.
Do I give them mercy?
No way.
I used to have a sign on the refrigerator. It was a magnet with a verse about special friendship on it. Attached to the magnet I had a piece of paper with gigantic black letters:
NO SNITCHING! SNITCHING IS A CRIME!
I don’t know what happened to that magnet. I think someone took it off because they couldn’t handle the meanness of it all.
Baking is a dangerous sport. You need to have proper control. I would advise that you get a special friendship no snitching sign for your refrigerator.
Layer 2: The Cream Cheese Layer
Usually, I have Feo and Podrido watching me from their chairs. Seated on padded kitchen chairs, our cats also hope for mercy.
The names?
If you are Spanish, you are probably wondering why we would name our cats “ugly” and “rotten”?
Well, because it’s the honest truth. Feo isn’t exactly the prettiest cat, and as a kitten Podrido was fairly rotten. My little sisters have a weird fascination with doing Rosetta Stone Spanish, then pronouncing it awfully in poorly constructed sentences. They go around saying things like “Dos muchachos es uno feo y telefono y una bicicleta.”
Which, if you know even the tiniest bit of Spanish (which my sisters don’t), you get a combination of telephones, bicycles, and two ugly little kids.
Which is annoying sometimes (the Spanish, not the ugly kids).
Adding the Lemon Layer
And so I bake with Ugly, Rotten, and my sisters watching me.
Does it add to the food?
Well, probably not.
Most likely, it takes away. When I’m not looking.
Finished Lemon Bars
- LAYER ONE: THE CRUST
- 1 cup cornstarch or potato starch
- 1 cup rice flour
- ½ cup sliced almonds
- 1 teaspoon xanthan gum
- ½ cup sugar
- 1 ½ teaspoons finely grated lemon rind
- 2 teaspoons lemon juice
- ½ teaspoon salt
- 1 ½ sticks butter, melted
- LAYER TWO: THE CHEESECAKE
- 2 8-oz packages of cream cheese
- ½ cup sugar
- 3 eggs
- LAYER THREE: THE LEMON
- 3 eggs
- 1 ¼ cup sugar
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 tablespoon finely grated lemon rind
- ⅓ cup lemon juice
- 1 tablespoon rice flour
- --The Crust--
- Grease a 9 by 13 inch glass baking pan and preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
- Combine all the 'crust' ingredients in a small metal bowl. Then, flouring your hands with cornstarch, spread the crust out on the glass baking pan. Set aside.
- --Cheesecake Layer--
- In the bowl of your electric mixer, beat together the cream cheese and the sugar. Add the three eggs one at a time, beating after each one.
- Pour the cream cheese layer onto the crust and spread it out evenly. Clean the bowl out.
- Put the crust in the oven and cook for twenty minutes. Meanwhile, prepare your lemon layer.
- --Lemon Layer--
- In the bowl you used for the cheesecake layer (now clean) beat the eggs and the sugar together with your electric mixer. Add the remaining ingredients and beat until well combined.
- When the cheesecake and crust layers are done pre-cooking, add the lemon layer. Cook for another thirty minutes until the top is a medium brown color and is fairly firm. Cool for twenty minutes, then slice and put on a plate in the refrigerator.
- Serve cold.
An adaption from Bette Hagman's three-layer lemon bars.
Leave a Reply